TIPS TO INFLUENCE YOUR EMPLOYEES AND GAIN YOUR WORKPLACE NETWORK’S TRUST.

Individual Contributor Success, Managers Growth / By /

FROM THE FAMOUS AND TIMELESS BOOK: HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE BY DALE CARNEGIE.

Screen Shot 2021 11 21 at 8.46.46 PM 1 TIPS TO INFLUENCE YOUR EMPLOYEES AND GAIN YOUR WORKPLACE NETWORK'S TRUST.

A few years ago, a friend recommended the timeless book: how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie.

I ignorantly thought, why would I want to spend time reading a book about making friends… As always, very antisocial… But the worst part … Terribly short-sighted.

The book kept appearing from mentors and people I admire as one of the top books to read. So, I give it a try…

The value this book gives is simply priceless. After reading it about five times already, I have synthesized the top vital takeaways to improve your network and connections in the workplace.

Relations and people move this world.

You must influence people and make them excited to collaborate/ partner with you to achieve your goals.

 

LESSON 1; TO INFLUENCE YOUR TEAM TO GO IN THE DIRECTION YOU NEED TO LEAD THEM TO BECOME THE DREAM TEAM YOU ARE ENVISIONING, PRAISE THEM.

To praise is always more effective than to criticize. When we are criticized, we turn defensive. We tend to take it personally when others say we are doing something wrong. Our instinct is to justify our behavior. People indeed need to be urged to change their ways from time to time. But if we cannot help them by criticizing them, what effective options do we have? Everyone wants to feel valued and essential, and a few words of appreciation can get you closer to your desired result than any amount of criticisms and complaints. 

LESSON 2; PEOPLE LOVE TO FEEL INTERESTING, VALUABLE, AND IMPORTANT. MAKE YOUR EMPLOYEES, CLIENTS, AND PARTNERS FEEL THAT WAY.

Sincerely demonstrate you care about whatever people are sharing. It could be a project, a problem they face to achieve their goals or plans for the weekend. People who genuinely show others they care about their opinions and value their perspectives often realize people are happily willing to collaborate.

LESSON 3; INVITE OTHERS TO TALK AND PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY HAVE TO SHARE.

Finding an active listener is very rare. We are all so absorbed in our minds, problems, and selfish thoughts that we constantly fight to shine and make sure we are right.

Be humble, listen to what the other person has to say. Ask open-ended questions to encourage others to talk.

Good, active listeners are always highly appreciated by the rest, and it exhibits humbleness, openness, and a calm vibe.

Listen carefully and actively to others to gain their respect, trust, and loyalty.

LESSON 4; ALWAYS STRIVE TO REACH A MID-GROUND. IF IT IS NOT POSSIBLE, THEN GENTLY DISAGREE.

Showing others they are wrong through clever conclusions, facts, and on-point calculations may lead them to resent you. When disagreements become full-blown debates, no one wins. If you can, it’s best to avoid them altogether. But sometimes, an argument is inevitable, so if you find yourself in a situation where you have to state your case, there are a few tips worth keeping in mind.

  • If you want to convince someone that what you’re saying is true, never say the words, “You’re wrong.” Making your case so harshly won’t bring your opponent around to your way of thinking. Instead, they’ll take offense, double down on their convictions, and try their best to prove you wrong.

  • A subtle and gentle approach is far more likely to be effective. Rather than trying to prove your case by force, try to lead your opponent to your conclusions in a spirit of friendly inquiry.

  • Try saying something like: Well, you know, I could be wrong. Let’s look at the facts. This tactic is often enough to disarm a stubborn opponent.

  • If you do turn out to be wrong, be gracious in defeat, and try to be the first to admit your mistake. Owning up to your errors preemptively often makes others take a softer tack.

  • On the flip side, if you turn out to be correct, don’t rejoice. Your opponent is unlikely to adopt a new opinion if you make it feel like

LESSON 5; A FAR BETTER APPROACH THAN DEALING WITH OPPOSING ARGUMENTS IS TO GET OTHERS TO AGREE WITH YOU FROM THE START AND THEN SMOOTHLY LEAD THEM TO YOUR CONCLUSIONS.

Inspired by Socrates’s approach, first, begin your conversations by making assertions everyone can agree with. Then, bit by bit, shift the conversations into more dubious territory. By foregrounding the points everyone could agree on, you can make your audience more likely to accept the following contentious arguments.

We humans typically become emotionally invested in defending opinions we’ve already declared publicly. We tend to take our reputation quite seriously as social creatures.

For the same reason, we prefer ideas that we come up with ourselves to others.

Be aware of this, and take this knowledge to your advantage.

SPOILER ALERT! The other day, I was watching a movie on Netflix; The King with Timothee Chalamet. The king’s counselors used a similar approach. They arrange a few successes to lead him to believe (or manipulate him) in the conclusions they wanted him to arrive by his own.

Side note: Use this technique with good intentions to influence positively.

Screen Shot 2021 11 21 at 3.54.30 PM TIPS TO INFLUENCE YOUR EMPLOYEES AND GAIN YOUR WORKPLACE NETWORK'S TRUST.

 

LESSON 5; A FAR BETTER APPROACH THAN DEALING WITH OPPOSING ARGUMENTS IS TO GET OTHERS TO AGREE WITH YOU FROM THE START AND THEN SMOOTHLY LEAD THEM TO YOUR CONCLUSIONS.

Inspired by Socrates’s approach, first, begin your conversations by making assertions everyone can agree with. Then, bit by bit, shift the conversations into more dubious territory. By foregrounding the points everyone could agree on, you can make your audience more likely to accept the following contentious arguments.

We humans typically become emotionally invested in defending opinions we’ve already declared publicly. We tend to take our reputation quite seriously as social creatures.

For the same reason, we prefer ideas that we come up with ourselves to others.

Be aware of this, and take this knowledge to your advantage.

SPOILER ALERT! The other day, I was watching a movie on Netflix; The King with Timothy Chalamet. The king’s counselors used a similar approach. They arrange a few successes to lead him to believe (or manipulate him) in the conclusions they wanted him to arrive by his own.

Side note: Use this technique with good intentions to influence positively.

 

 

LESSON 6; BE EMPATHETIC AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND OTHER PEOPLE’S VIEWPOINTS.

 

Keep an open mind. Please make an effort to understand other people’s reasoning. It will give you a broader perspective, and people will enjoy working with you.

An aggrieved coworker or upset manager only needs to hear the words: I completely understand where you’re coming from. In your situation, I’d feel the same.

Sympathizing with others doesn’t just make them feel good – it can also help you manage frustration and impatience. By understanding the factors that make people act as they do, you can become more tolerant of behaviors that once irritated and upset you.

The next time someone’s behavior upsets you, pause for a minute and try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Why might your colleague be slacking off? Is there anything kind of understanding you could do to help him get back on track?

 

 

LESSON 7; SET THE BAR HIGH, AND PEOPLE WILL STRIVE TO MEET IT.

We, humans, love to feel loved, respected, and essential. We hate to disappoint people who believe in us. When we commend someone’s reputation, we can use both these facts: our admiring words reward them for what they’ve already done and set a high benchmark for future performance.

In other words, if you want someone to develop a specific characteristic, speak of them as though they already possess it. If you’d like your employee to be more analytical, praise them for analyzing the problems they face at work. Set up an aspirational reputation for them as analytical and brilliant people.

Thank you for reading this article.

If you like it, please share it with a colleague or friend that may find it helpful.

Author: Ruth Valverde A.

Date

5 thoughts on “TIPS TO INFLUENCE YOUR EMPLOYEES AND GAIN YOUR WORKPLACE NETWORK’S TRUST.”

  1. Dan

    You are only as good as your last paycheck. Deliver your best self everyday. Human’s forget what others do for them, unless is consistent.

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